A Ode to The Past & A Toast To The Near Future

The itch to write has reached my fingertips once more.  I am sitting in the dark considering how much this year has been a learning process for yours truly.  

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve in case you have lost track of the days.  As tradition stands, it is time for me to reflect, reminiscence, and review on how I have lived for the past three hundred and sixty-three days.  

Don't fret.  I am not about to list my journal here or take the time to reveal all the minute details of my existence onto this blog.  That would be an outrageous and unnecessary gesture on my part.


For the sake of brevity alone, I will list out some things that I have learned in 2010.  Scary that time flies as much as it has already in my short twenty years.  

-I will not change or fight who God has made me to be.  

-I won't rush the time He has given me.  I am here for a reason.  Even if I still am on the path to discovering what that reason is.

-Listening to others is more beneficial than relying on my own stubborn tendencies.



-There is nothing wrong with pursuing what I love.  Such as reading, writing, and school-related stuff.  


-I love making others laugh.  In no way can I claim to be a comedian.  When I am myself, my humorous side comes out without being forced or constrained.


-Spending time alone is never harmful unless I am willingly shutting people out or trying to save myself from heartache and hurt.


I look forward to this new year with hopeful expectancy of what is to come.  Looking forward rather than backwards is my game plan.  

I especially cannot wait for Sac State.  I am sure once I start attending there, it won't seem as riveting.  Hopefully, it will be worth the time and dedication of this last year at ARC.  In today's economy and job market, I know a B.A. is almost a necessity.  

Even further, I want to learn for learning's sake.  Yes, the diploma and college degree are the cherry on top but it is more than that to me.  I enjoy the process of studying and the pressures of last minute projects (even though I find myself complaining and prolonging the agony in the process).


My heart is glad knowing that there is so much more of life to be lived and experienced.  Rather, the end of this year is just the beginning thanks to the promising blessing of another day and another year. 


As I write this post, I am listening to Michael Buble and I am grateful for where I am currently at in terms of my geographic location and living situation.  

The humor of it all is that at the start of 2010, I was discontent more than anything else.  I wanted to move out of this city and I desired nothing more than to be out living on my own two feet.  It is a humbling experience knowing that I am of the proper age to move out, and yet my financial circumstances and educational goals prevent me from doing so.  


With much soul searching and struggling conversations with God, I am at a point in life where I am not impatiently waiting to get onto the next stage of my existence.  It has given me the chance to re-establish closeness within my family, and I have had more time to save for Sac State and moving out.  In sum, I am content/confident in the hope I find only in my Lord and Savior.  


Since I have already enumerated some nuggets of truth I have previously uncovered, it is now time for me to describe what I would love to get out of 2011.  [By the way, eleven is my all-time number and I will turn twenty-one by the end of it.  Call me silly or frivolous but my conventions lie where they be and I would not have it any other way].


-Taking more risks.  I used to believe that I am full of spontaneity.  More often then not, I am cautious and afraid of change.  Some might see me as somebody who acts without thinking but that is more the exception than the rule.  

When my Lord is prompting me in a specific direction, who am I to question HIM?  I am the one who time and time again crawls back to Him asking for forgiveness and another chance.  


-Being outside more than inside during most days.  Even in the pouring rain, I consider myself being "out" when I am sitting in a coffee shop.  Time relaxing at home is an necessity for my sanity and peace of mind but I would like to see more of the world than my messy bedroom.  

It's not as if I don't go and do stuff.  It's more that I could be doing so much more with the time I have on this earth.  I do not want to limit or stifle the friendships and relationships I have already built upon thus far. 


-The day I actually begin studying in the classroom regarding Speech Pathology.  Trust me, I cannot wait.


-Hopefully meeting new friends and further developing the ones that I have already made. 


-Falling more in love with my Creator.


-reading more of the classics I haven't picked up yet.


Clearly, a new year has more benefits than drawbacks.  I can be stuck in my ways but I cannot help but smile when I think of 2011.  

 
Here's a toast a day in advance for what is to come.